826. Carry On, Jeeves (P. G. Wodehouse)

Cover of first edition

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
One of literature’s most celebrated fictional duos, lovable fop Bertie Wooster and his clever valet Jeeves, take center stage in these hilarious tales. In the first four, Jeeves saves Bertie from some serious scrapes involving stolen manuscripts, unfortunate engagements, marital scandals, and jailbird friends. The other four find Bertie exiled to 1920s New York, where Jeeves rescues him from American aunts, visiting Brits, poetic chumps, and femme fatales. “Jeeves Takes Charge” is chronologically the first in the series, telling how the canny valet entered Wooster’s life. “Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest” expands the canvas to include Bertie’s young cousin who goes wild under his wing. “The Rummy Affair of Old Biffy,” “Clustering Round Young Bingo,” and “The Artistic Career of Corky” are variations on the Wodehousian theme of dastardly rascals who scheme to take advantage of Bertie’s hopeless naivete.

My rating: 5 stars

Publication information:

• 1925 (9.10.1925)
• Herbert Jenkins
• London
  
• Green cloth & black lettering & decoration
  
• Title page dated "MCMXXV"
  
• Dust wrapper priced at 3/6

825. The Gallic Wars (Caesar)

Synopsis from Wikipedia:
In Commentarii de Bello Gallico, Caesar describes the battles and intrigues that took place in the nine years he spent fighting local armies that opposed Roman domination. The "Gaul" that Caesar refers to is sometimes all of Gaul except for the Provincia Narbonensis (modern day Provence), encompassing all of modern France, Belgium and some of Switzerland. On other occasions he refers only to that territory inhabited by the Celts (whom the Romans called Gauls), from the Channel to Lugdunum (Lyon).

The first book deals primarily but not exclusively with the Helvetian War in 58 BC. In it, Caesar describes Gaul and the campaign against the Helvetii, a conglomeration of peoples numbering in excess of 300,000, who decided to migrate by force of arms from the Alpine regions through the centre of Gaul to the west to alleviate population pressures. This would require the crossing either of Provence, or of areas held by tribes allied to Rome. When Caesar made it clear he would not allow this, the Helvetians formed an alliance of tribes to fight him. This drew the Romans out of Provence. Later books are about the campaigns against Veneti, Aquitani, Germanic peoples and Bretons; Caesar's invasions of Britain; the insurrection of Gaul (VII, 4) and the defeat of Vercingetorix at Alesia (VII, 89).

Campaigns typically started in late summer with the provisioning of grain and construction of fortresses, and ended late in the year when Caesar returned to his winter quarters among the Sequani for the winter (Caesar 42). He campaigned with a number of legions in his army, sometimes as many as eight. He faced a variety of tribal armies, often hasty alliances of them, some numbering – or at least claimed to number – over 100,000 strong. Many of the campaigns end with the Roman cavalry running down thousands of fleeing tribesmen, and often their women and children as well. In one instance he defeated a tribe and immediately sold all 53,000 survivors into slavery.

After the second year of campaigning many of the hostile tribes had been defeated and much of Gaul was under some degree of Roman control. By this point any threat to the province, or to Rome itself, was dubious at best. It has been noted that the book may also have been intended as an answer to Caesar's political opponents, who questioned the real need for this costly war, at the time one of the most expensive in Roman history. Many of the reasons provided clearly stretch the credulity of its readers. For instance, his reasons for invading Britain came down to noting that while fighting in north-west Gaul, local armies were often supported by mercenaries from Britain.

My rating: 5 stars

My review: One of my favorites during school. Some of the most interesting passages are Caesar's descriptions of the landscape of Europe (France, parts of Germany, Britain) during the Roman Empire. I recommend reading this in Latin if possible.

824. The Canterbury Tales (Geoffrey Chaucer)

Canterbury Tales, woodcut 1484

Synopsis from Amazon:
One of the greatest and most ambitious works in English literature, The Canterbury Tales depicts a storytelling competition between pilgrims drawn from all ranks of society. The tales are as various as the pilgrims themselves, encompassing comedy, pathos, tragedy, and cynicism. The Miller and the Reeve express their mutual antagonism in a pair of comic stories combining sex and trickery; in "The Shipman’s Tale," a wife sells her favors to a monk. Others draw on courtly romance and fantasy: the Knight tells of rivals competing for the love of the same woman, and the Squire describes a princess who can speak to birds. In these twenty-four tales, Chaucer displays a dazzling range of literary styles and conjures up a wonderfully vivid picture of medieval life.

My rating: 5 stars

My review: One of my favorites. I recommend reading it in the original Middle English with a modern English translation accompanying it.

823. Number the Stars (Lois Lowry)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
Set in Nazi-occupied Denmark in 1943, this 1990 Newbery winner tells of a 10-year-old girl who undertakes a dangerous mission to save her best friend.

My rating: 3 stars

822. Just Wicked Enough (Lorraine Heath)

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
Michael Tremayne, Marquess of Falconridge, needs money and lots of it. So he does what any sensible Englishman with a title would do -- he approaches the fathers of wealthy heiresses and auctions himself off! But this marriage of convenience is turning out to be anything but.

Michael's new wife, Katherine Rose, decided a long time ago never to accept anything less than true love. And if she can't have that, her marriage will be strictly a business relationship. Michael finds the situation unacceptable, but at the same time finds himself admiring his wife's quick wit and determination. So he set about doing the one thing he never imagined -- wooing his wife.

My rating: 4 stars

821. The Amber Spyglass (Philip Pullman)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
Philip Pullman brings The Amber Spyglass to the spellbinding His Dark Materials sequence, which dazzles everyone who reads it, children and adults alike. After the original Northern Lights, he kept up the quality in The Subtle Knife, the second title in the trilogy. Now he brings the series to an extraordinary conclusion. Will and Lyra, the two children at the heart of the books, have become separated amidst great dangers. Can they find each other, and their friends? Then complete their mysterious quest before it's too late? The great rebellion against the dark powers that hold Lyra's world, and many others, in thrall is nearing its climax. She and Will have crucial parts to play, but they don't know what it is that they must do, and terrible powers are hunting them down.

My rating: 4 stars

820. Green Eggs and Ham (Dr. Seuss)

Synopsis from Amazon:
Sam-I-am is as persistent as a telemarketer, changing as many variables as possible in the hopes of convincing the nameless skeptic that green eggs and ham are a delicacy to be savored. He tries every manner of presentation with this "nouveau cuisine"--in a house, with a mouse, in a box, with a fox, with a goat, on a boat--to no avail. Then finally, finally the doubter caves under the tremendous pressure exerted by the tireless Sam-I-am. And guess what? Well, you probably know what happens, but even after reading Green Eggs and Ham the thousandth time, the climactic realization that green eggs and ham are "so good, so good, you see" is still a rush.

My rating: 1 star

My review: Call me weird but I never liked Dr. Seuss, even as a child.

819. Fallen (Celeste Bradley)

Synopsis from Amazon:
What happens when society's wallflower is found in bed with London's most outrageous bachelor?

To save his inheritance, Lord Julian Blackworth must propose to a woman he would just as soon forget. Izzy Temple, spinster housekeeper, wants nothing more than her freedom. Together, they strike a deal to pretend an engagement until the fuss dies down.

But when the lie becomes the truth, can Izzy and Julian set free the hearts they've been protecting for so long?

My rating: 3 stars

818. Merely Married (Patricia Coughlin)

Synopsis from Amazon:
When a drunken libertine, the Duke of Raven, comes across a well-bred young lady fallen deathly ill en route to London, he impulsively seizes on a scheme suggested by a friend. By marrying her and becoming a widower, he can use his feigned grief to free him from the annoying demands of society. He has no scruples about tricking a semi-conscious woman into marrying him, but fate, naturally, has his comeuppance in store. Leah not only recovers, she decides to take advantage of her unexpected rise in society to further a scheme of her own, and from there on, it's a game of point-counterpoint.

My rating: 3 stars

817. Angel In My Bed (Melody Thomas)

Synopsis from Amazon:
On one final mission for the Crown, David Donally is hunting for a missing treasure. His only clue is a dazzling, gem-encrusted earring, and it is leading him to the most desirable woman he has ever known ... an enchanting thief he once seduced and betrayed in the name of duty ... an exquisite lover he'd believed was dead ... his wife!

Meg Faraday thought her former life was behind her — until the night the treacherous husband she'd eluded suddenly appeared. By rights she should despise the handsome spy who had captured her heart, then shattered it. But the fire between them still burns, and what was once an irresistible passion has now become a dangerous game of betrayal ....

My rating: 2 stars

816. Lord Stanhope's Proposal (Jessica Benson)

Synopsis from Amazon:
It is the start of the Season and the rakish Earl of Stanhope is less than overjoyed when he is forced to rusticate to Sussex. His foolish, foppish cousin has, it seems, managed to wager away the reputation of one Miss Calista Ashton. Country spinster. Vicar's sister. Radical. Bluestocking. Why, the mere description is enough to call forth a sigh. Nonetheless, in the name of the family honor--and well, to be honest, maybe partly to escape from his two mistresses who are arguing over him--Stanhope heads to the little town of Deepdene. And is surprised indeed. Hardly the elderly, dried-up spinster he had been led to expect, Miss Ashton is, it turns out, possessed of a fine sense of humor, a fine pair of eyes, and under her frumpy brown dresses, a fine. . . well, a gentleman really should not notice that at all. And, oh yes, the lady, as it also turns out, is already engaged. Naturally, being a man of action, Stanhope sets out to remedy the situation. But what will Calista find in his impeccably Weston-tailored arms? Sweet seduction or true love?

My rating: 4 stars

Excerpt: [from Chapter 1]

Thursday, April the third, dawned over London with fair skies. As fashionable London slumbered a breeze came up, blowing away all traces of the acrid yellow fog that so often choked the city.

In Deepdene, Sussex—the other town with which we are concerned where the day had also dawned fair, and where the villagers as a matter of course rose earlier than their London counterparts—the day was already well under way for our cast of characters.

At the vicarage, Miss Calista Ashton, clad in a shapeless gray wool gown nearly indistinguishable from the nine other shapeless gray wool gowns in her clothing press, was in the morning room. She was attempting to simultaneously tackle the huge pile of linens needing mending while reading Considerations on Religion and Public Education, with Remarks on the Speech of M. Dupont, Delivered in the National Convention of France, Together with an Address to the Ladies, &c. of Great Britain and Ireland by the notorious Hannah More. Calista was poised to hide the book should she hear the slightest hint of approaching footsteps. Her efforts at both reading and mending were somewhat hindered as she was unable to lean back due to the fact that the vicarage had recently been redecorated by her sister-in-law, Hermione Ashton, to feature only backless sofas in the fashionable Egyptian style.

Miss Ashton’s brother, the Very Reverend Adolphus Ashton—who due to the family’s less than fortunate financial circumstances had been forced to take orders and who had had the living at Deepdene these past eleven years—considered Calista’s reading tastes to be nothing short of heretical, and was sure to read her a crashingly dull and extremely lengthy scold should she be discovered.

Searching out Calista, however, was the last thing on the Reverend Ashton’s mind. Having breakfasted early, he was now closeted in his study, ostensibly writing tomorrow’s sermon (tentative title: “Parishioners! Give Thanks to the Merciful Almighty for Giving You the Opportunity to Serve Your Titled Betters”), but was in actuality reading a most unimproving work on hunting, while eating at a prodigious rate the sugarplums confiscated from Master Billy Trent at Bible study.

His wife, Hermione, having rung for her morning chocolate, reclined on her pillows and debated whether the day should bring a megrim or a much more energy-consuming spasm. In the end she decided against succumbing to a spasm, which would in all likelihood keep her confined to her bed ruining the chances for a comfortable cose with her bosom bow, Lady Gladys Lyttworth.

Lady Lyttworth, who prided herself on keeping town hours (“One in my position,” she was fond of saying, “must strive to maintain some modicum of civilization even here in this”—here a delicate shudder would traverse her ramrod-straight spine—“backwater”), was abroad at such early an hour only because she was eager to inspect the new addition to her art collection. It was a portrait she had recently commissioned from Hethering. Lady Lyttworth’s painting was not precisely a Hethering original but, rather, an Elizabethan-era portrait that Mr. Hethering had less than happily but as instructed amended to bear the charming nose of the daughter of the house, Miss Sofie Lyttworth (who was, incidentally, still abed with a concoction of mashed cucumber on her porcelain complexion).

The Baron Lyttworth was in the library snoring behind the Morning Post from a sennight ago Tuesday. That the news was woefully out of date was of little consequence, as its main purpose was to keep him from being disturbed during his habitual post-breakfast, pre-lunch, late-midafternoon, and early-evening naps. Lady Lyttworth insisted that she had long since given up relying on the Post for the latest gossip. Her dearest London friends, she said, corresponded quite frequently enough to keep her apprised of all the latest on-dits. If any of her acquaintances privately thought Lady Lyttworth’s news not much fresher than that contained in their own out-of-date Posts, they were much too polite to mention the fact.

The Lyttworths’ nearest neighbour, Squire Everard Greystock, sat alone in his breakfast room, his seven children having been banished to the nursery in order that he be able to enjoy his morning meal in peace. It had been his late wife’s idea to have so many children, which was exactly, he thought, the type of rackety hen-witted caper that was to be expected from the weaker sex. Despite the fact that he had not been particularly fond of his wife, her demise some eighteen months previous had discommoded him sadly. A few crumbs fell from thick lips as he polished off the remains of a rack of toast. Despite employing a veritable gaggle of nannies, nursemaids, and governesses, the squire was constantly being plagued by his offspring.

As he attacked the last morsel of creamed kidney, the idea that what his children really needed was a stepmama crossed his mind. If he must needs marry again, rot the luck, he thought, it would have to be someone who would be grateful for his offer. Someone past her last prayers. Someone who would set a fine table, not insist that he bathe, or interfere with his passions—riding to the hounds and drinking port. Someone, in fact, not unlike Calista Ashton. Bit of a favour to his crony Adolphus, actually. Lord knew, the gel needed a man’s influence to set her to rights—going to end up dashed potty, she was, if left to her own devices. And come to think of it, she might make a nice armful come a cold winter night—he’d wager that hidden under all those frumpy clothes there were some curves to tempt a man.

Suddenly feeling at charity with the world he belched and rang for a second platter of sliced ham.

815. A Valentine Wedding (Jane Feather)

Synopsis from Amazon UK:
Once her childhood friend, then her betrothed, and finally her enemy, Lord Alasdair Chase resolves to make Lady Emma Beaumont his wife by Valentine's day, but her stubborn insistence on preserving her independence makes it a challenge.

My rating: 2 stars

814. Sugar and Spice (Leda Swann)

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
There is a place hidden away in Cornwall, unremarkable from the outside. But enter and you will discover a haven for the most daring of pleasure seekers ... and for every husband and wife willing to indulge their most intimate fantasies.

Three bold and sizzling tales of Victorian passion, lust, and ecstasy from a modern master of sensuous love.

My rating: 3 stars

813. Rent-a-Stud (Lynn LaFleur)

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
It isn't Jade Talmage's idea to accept her daughter's offer to hire an escort for the hospital gala. But the absence of her brother Paul-her usual companion-leaves her with no choice.

Enter Zachary Cooper, one-third owner of Coopers' Companions, a professional escort company. Despite his good looks and sex appeal that make her hormones scream, Jade has no intention of being the next in a long line of the rent-a-stud's conquests.

A weekend of mind-blowing sex has Jade's heart crumbling. Zach is exactly the type of man she wants in her life. Yet she's sure a relationship with a man ten years her junior would lead to nothing but heartache.Zach doesn't care that Jade is older than he. He wants a lifetime with the woman he's fallen for so desperately. All he has to do is convince Jade that he's much more than a rent-a-stud…he's the man who loves her.

My rating: 3 stars

812. A Touch of Minx (Suzanne Enoch)

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
A year ago, Samantha Jellicoe robbed from the rich and gave ... to herself! Now, though, she's using her larcenous skills for good as a private security consultant, trying to walk the high road for her sexy billionaire boyfriend, Richard Addison, and asking herself if there's anything more torturous than tracking down priceless artifacts (only to give them back!).

So when the Metropolitan Museum of Art asks for her help, she's only too happy to leap into the fray again: If nothing else, this adventure will help her avoid that little (not!) sparkly item Rick's been hiding in his pocket, and postpone another kind of walk—down the aisle. It's only when she's targeted by a deadly adversary after the same treasure that Sam starts to think that "till death do you part" is maybe the lesser of two evils ....

My rating: 2 stars

My review: Too unbelievable. I mean, who wouldn't want to get shackled to the ol' ball-and-chain if he was a sexy billionaire??? Just kidding. The book's just boring.

811. The Subtle Knife (Philip Pullman)

Synopsis from Amazon UK:
At the end of The Northern Lights, Lyra Silvertongue watched in fear and fascination as her father, Lord Asriel, created a bridge between worlds. Lyra and her daemon, Pantalaimon, are now lost in an alternate universe where they meet Will Parry, a fugitive from a third universe. Will has found a small window between Cittagazze (a place where children roam unchecked but invisible Specters suck the spirit out of adults) and his Oxford, which, with its Burger Kings and cars, is frighteningly different from the Oxford Lyra knows.

Will's father, an explorer, disappeared years ago, but recently some odd characters have started asking questions about him, and now, having accidentally killed one of them, Will is wanted by the police. Armed with the Subtle Knife, a tool that cuts any material (including that which separates universes) and Lyra's alethiometer, the children set out to find John Parry, with adults of various stripes in desperate pursuit.

Lyra's finest qualities, her courage and quick mind, are stretched to the limit as she has to lie, cheat and steal to keep herself and Will out of danger. However, she must also learn when to tell the truth and when to trust, for, though she does not yet know it, she has a huge part to play in the upcoming battle between Good and Evil.

My rating: 4 stars

810. The Golden Compass (Philip Pullman)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
The story begins at Jordan College in Oxford, where young Lyra Belacqua and her daemon, Pantalaimon, are being reared and educated by the Scholars. Although a lackluster student, Lyra possesses an inordinate curiosity and sense of adventure, which lead her into forbidden territory on the night her uncle, Lord Asriel, visits. He's there to solicit funds for a return journey to the distant arctic wastes, where he has observed and photographed strange goings-on, including a mysterious phenomenon called Dust that streams from the sky and a dim outline of a city suspended in the Aurora, or Northern Lights, that he suspects is part of an alternate universe. After he leaves, Lyra finds herself placed in the charge of the mysterious Mrs. Coulter and in possession of a rare compasslike device that can answer questions if she learns how to read it. Already shocked by the disappearance of her best friend, Lyra discovers Mrs. Coulter's connection with the dreaded children-stealing Gobblers and runs away, joining a group of gyptians bound for the North to rescue missing children. Lyra has also learned that her uncle is being held prisoner in the North, guarded by formidable armored bears.

My rating: 4 stars

809. Caine's Reckoning (Sarah McCarty)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
Caine Allen is a hardened Texas Ranger, definitely not the marrying kind. But when he rescues a kidnapped woman and returns her to town, the preacher calls in a favor. One Caine's honor won't let him refuse.

From the moment he beds Desi, Caine knows turmoil will follow. Desi might have the face of a temptress, but she also has a will of iron and while she needs his protection, she's determined that no man will control her again. They establish an uneasy bond, but it isn't enough for Caine. He wants all Desi has to offer. Yet there's still a bounty on Desi's head, and keeping her satisfied is proving easier than keeping her alive.

My rating: 3 stars

808. Love Letters from a Duke (Elizabeth Boyle)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
A young society dame with a flair for matchmaking does whatever it takes to ensure her eclectic family's well-being in Boyle's latest Regency romance. After four years of corresponding with her nearly betrothed, the beautiful and resourceful Miss Felicity Langley is poised finally to meet Aubrey, the newly titled duke of Hollingsworth—and gain the wealth to take care of her family's financial woes. What Felicity doesn't know is that her pen pal all along has actually been Aubrey's scheming, ruthless grandfather; the real Aubrey, meanwhile, has been serving as an army captain under the name Thatcher, having denounced his inheritance a dozen years before. Returning to Sussex, Aubrey learns of the duke's arrangement with Felicity and decides to break all ties with her. But when he meets her, as Thatcher, setting off immediate sparks, both face a secret dilemma: Aubrey torn between taking a stand and giving in to love, and Felicity between overwhelming passion and the long-distance relationship she believes will save her family.

My rating: 4 stars

Excerpt: [Prologue]

June 4, 1810

The Most Hon. the Marquess of Standon
Bythorne Castle, Westmoreland

My Lord Marquess,

If you would but spare me a moment of patience and allow me to introduce myself, I think you will find my forthcoming proposition quite amenable. My name is Miss Felicity Langley and I will graduate in a year from Miss Emery’s Establishment for the Education of Genteel Ladies. A mutual friend of ours, Lord John Tremont, suggested I write to you and propose that we consider uniting in marriage—that is, once I’ve finished a brilliant Season. You see, I have every intention of marrying a duke, and Jack thought you might prove a likely candidate despite the fact that you have yet to inherit from your grandfather. Speaking of your esteemed grandsire, how is his health…?

—An extract from Felicity Langley’s correspondence to the Marquess of Standon

The Duke of Hollindrake’s secretary laughed out loud.

This was notable for two reasons: No one ever laughed in front of the imposing and impossibly ill-tempered duke, and, who would have ever thought that his straight-backed, pinched-nosed, impeccably mannered secretary, Mr. Gibbens, even knew how?

And then he laughed again. Guffawed, really. Out loud and much to his employer’s chagrin.

“Whatever has come over you, Gibbens? Have you gone mad?” the duke barked across the wide desk separating them. “Control yourself this instant!”

Gibbens struggled to do just that, but it was of no use. His gaze slipped once again to the last line of the letter he’d been reading and he broke out in a loud gale of laughter and continued until tears ran down his cheeks. It wasn’t until he set aside the well-traveled post to retrieve a handkerchief from his waistcoat pocket and had a chance to wipe his eyes that he recovered enough to answer. “My deepest apologies, Your Grace. It is just that—” And then he started to stammer again, his eyes crinkling in the corners and his lips twitching rebelliously. He shook his head and pointed like a guilty child at the letter.

“Harrumph! Whatever nonsense is this?” the duke asked as he reached for it.

“A letter, Your Grace,” Gibbens managed. “To your grandson.”

“Standon? Whyever would someone be writing him, least of all have the nerve to send it here?” He eyed the missive in his hand as if it carried plague. “Owes more money, does he? Well, I’m not paying his debts. I’m not, I say.”

Standon and his grandfather had never seen eye-to-eye, having argued years earlier, resulting in the younger Sterling leaving England and his family, without ever looking back.

Of course that had been well and good with the duke, for his miscreant grandson had been the third son of a third son, so far removed from inheriting that his foibles and follies had been nothing more than a continuing annoyance rather than any grave concern. That is, until fate intervened—and now the young buck who’d driven his family mad with his exploits and then disappeared was the heir.

So even as the old duke made his strident declaration, to anyone who knew him, there was an odd wistful note behind his words. Regret, even.

“It isn’t about debts, Your Grace,” Gibbens explained. “Rather, the letter is from a young lady—”

“Got himself into that sort of trouble, eh? Not going to have some wench thinking she can wrangle a fortune—”

“No, Your Grace, it isn’t that sort of, um, well, difficulty,” Gibbens managed, for he was a lifelong bachelor and carried an unholy fear of the female sex. “Rather it is from a lady. A proper one.”

“A proper one, you say?” Hollindrake brought the letter up for a closer examination. “And from Bath it appears,” he said, looking at the directions. “What the devil is this Miss Emery’s?”

“A school, Your Grace. I believe it teaches deportment and other such qualities.”

“Churning out qualified flirts and silly chits, most likely,” the old man said with a snort. Yet there was a glint of curiosity in his old rheumy dark eyes. He looked up and pinned a glance on his secretary. “And what the devil did you find so amusing?”

Gibbens choked and stammered. “Miss Langley writes to ask, that is, she is under the impression that, well, apparently—”

“Out with it, man,” Hollindrake barked.

The poor man took a deep breath, screwed up every bit of courage he possessed and managed to get it all out in one sentence. “This Miss Langley is proposing that Lord Standon consider her hand in marriage.” Gibbens then closed his eyes and braced himself for the pending explosion.

None came. And after an indecent amount of silence, he peeked out through his lashes and discovered the old duke engrossed in reading the letter for himself.

Then the second noteworthy event occurred that day.

The duke laughed.

“Some cheek!” he said, once he gathered his wits about him. “She has the audacity to inquire about the state of my health. Probably be demmed disappointed to find me fit and hardy, I wager.” He set the letter down on his desk and laughed again.

“Yes, Your Grace,” his secretary agreed. “Quite presumptuous.”

“Exactly!” the duke declared. “Which is why we are going to answer it.”

“Answer it, Your Grace?” A sense of foreboding ran down the secretary’s spine.

“Of course! Why, I suspect any chit with this much brass would make a most excellent duchess. And further, I’d wager she’d bring that rapscallion grandson of mine to heel.”

Gibbens’ lips flapped like a fish out of water. “You mean to accept her proposal? But, Your Grace, you can hardly accept a proposal for your grandson on a matter such as this, why it’s—”

“I can and I will!” the old man said, sitting up straight and looking younger than he had in years. “So we will answer this Miss Langley—and court her in his name. One day Standon will thank me.”

And eventually he did.

But not at first.

807. Wicked Ties (Shayla Black)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
When a stalker ratchets up his attempts to get to her, cable sex talk show host Morgan O'Malley turns to Jack Cole-a self-proclaimed dominant- for help. Though Jack is a bodyguard, Morgan feels anything but safe in his presence. Because slowly and seductively, Jack is bringing her deepest fantasies to the surface. And when he bends her to his will, what's more shocking than her surrender is how much she enjoys it and how she starts to crave his masterful touch. A willing player in Jack's games, Morgan knows that his motives aren't pure. But she has no idea how personal they are.

My rating: 4 stars

806. A Caribbean Mystery (Agatha Christie)

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
Recovering from a bout of pneumonia, Miss Marple is basking in the warm sunshine of the West Indies, where the scenery is beautiful, yet every day seems the same. That is, until Major Palgrave dies suddenly thrusting Miss Marple into a murder investigation of a most exotic nature.

My rating: 4 stars

Publication information:

• 1964
• Collins Crime Club
• London
• Orange/red cloth with gilt lettering
• Dust wrapper priced at 16/-
  

805. Tempting Juliana (Lauren Royal)

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
It's a good thing Juliana Chase takes such pleasure in playing matchmaker, because there's nothing she wants more than to see her loved ones happy. Her latest pairing involves Dr. James Trevor, Earl of Stafford, and her friend, Amanda. So why does the handsome physician insist on ignoring her good intentions -- and shaking up her sensible plans?

My rating: 1 star

804. Rumpole of the Bailey (John Mortimer)

Synopsis:
The first Rumpole book. Contains:

• "Rumpole and the Younger Generation"
• "Rumpole and the Alternative Society"
• "Rumpole and the Honourable Member"
• "Rumpole and the Married Lady"
• "Rumpole and the Learned Friends"
• "Rumpole and the Heavy Brigade"

My rating: 5 stars

Publication information:

• 1978
• Penguin
  

803. Only a Duke Will Do (Sabrina Jeffries)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
Seven years after Louisa North effectively banished him to India for recklessly kissing her, Simon Tremaine returns to England. Determined to pursue a career in politics, he has no intention of becoming involved with the lovely Louisa again, until the king "suggests" that marrying Louisa might help win Simon a nomination as England's next prime minister. As the leader of the London Ladies Society, Louisa and her dedicated group of volunteers have been bedeviling the government for prison reform, but if Simon were to marry Louisa, he could effectively limit the scope of her group's work. Louisa is skeptical of Simon when he begins courting her, but Simon's kisses soon banish all her concerns, until Louisa discovers exactly why Simon now wishes to wed her.

My rating: 3 stars

My review: Too much politics! If I wanted to read about politics, I'd read the newspaper.

802. The Rake (Suzanne Enoch)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
A Regency romp about a young lady who vows revenge on the rakish lord who loved and left her, only to find herself unexpectedly caught in Cupid's net along with the handsome viscount when her plan to love and leave him backfires.

My rating: 3 stars

801. Nauti Nights (Lora Leigh)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
James "Dawg" Mackay has lusted after sweet Crista for years. Just as many as she's spent running from him-and from a dangerous attraction. But for Crista, running isn't an option anymore because Dawg's got a plan to get her and keep her. It's kind of low-down -- but completely hot.

My rating: 4 stars

800. Housekeeping (Marilynne Robinson)

Synopsis from Amazon:
A modern classic, Housekeeping is the story of Ruth and her younger sister, Lucille, who grow up haphazardly, first under the care of their competent grandmother, then of two comically bumbling great-aunts, and finally of Sylvie, their eccentric and remote aunt. The family house is in the small Far West town of Fingerbone set on a glacial lake, the same lake where their grandfather died in a spectacular train wreck, and their mother drove off a cliff to her death. It is a town "chastened by an outsized landscape and extravagant weather, and chastened again by an awareness that the whole of human history had occurred elsewhere." Ruth and Lucille's struggle toward adulthood beautifully illuminates the price of loss and survival, and the dangerous and deep undertow of transience.

My rating: 2 stars

799. The Last Templar (Raymond Khoury)

Synopsis from Amazon:
“It has served us well, this myth of Christ.”
—Pope Leo X, 16th Century

In a hail of fire and flashing sword, as the burning city of Jerusalem falls from the hands of the West in 1291, The Last Templar opens with a young Templar knight, his mentor, and a handful of others escaping to the sea carrying a mysterious chest entrusted to them by the Order’s dying Grand Master. The ship vanishes without a trace.

In present day Manhattan, four masked horsemen dressed as Templar Knights emerge from Central Park and ride up the Fifth Avenue steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art during the blacktie opening of a Treasures of the Vatican exhibit. Storming through the crowds, the horsemen brutally attack anyone standing between them and their prize. Attending the gala, archaeologist Tess Chaykin watches in silent terror as the leader of the horsemen hones in on one piece in particular, a strange geared device. He utters a few cryptic Latin words as he takes hold of it with reverence before leading the horsemen out and disappearing into the night.

In the aftermath, an FBI investigation is led by anti-terrorist specialist Sean Reilly. Soon, he and Tess are drawn into the dark, hidden history of the crusading Knights, plunging them into a deadly game of cat and mouse with ruthless killers as they race across three continents to recover the lost secret of the Templars.

My rating: 1 star

798. Heather and Velvet (Teresa Medeiros)

Is that Fabio on the cover? Em, gross.

Synopsis from author:
One moment Prudence Walker is living the life of a plain, dutiful orphan, searching for her lost kitten during a storm; the next she finds herself lying in a highwayman's arms. Wounded in a foiled robbery attempt, the dreaded Scottish highwayman seems harmless enough -- until he steals her will and her heart with his honeyed kisses.

The innocent lass is everything Sebastian Kerr has ever wanted, but believed he could never have. When she discovers the dangerous double life he is leading, he is forced to risk his own life to save hers. It doesn't take him long to realize that he must win the one treasure he cannot steal -- Prudence's love.

My rating: 4 stars

797. The Gift (Julie Garwood)

Synopsis from Amazon:
In 1802, in an attempt to bring peace between two warring families, the king arranges a marriage between the 14-year-old Nathanial Baker, marquess of St. James, and Lady Sara Winchester, who is four. Fourteen years later and now a pirate, Nathan wishes to claim his bride -- and the property that comes with her -- but the Winchesters aren't cooperating. Nathan decides to indulge in a "clean, uncomplicated kidnapping" and spirits his wife out of England on one of his ships. In fact Sara, long infatuated with her absent, mysterious husband, settles into life at sea quite cheerfully, enlivening the voyage by accidentally destroying a couple of sails, giving the crew food poisoning and setting the vessel on fire. Despite it all, her determined affection for and faith in Nathan and his crew gradually wins her a place in their crusty, seafaring souls and a loyalty that is tested when, on their return to London, Sara's father threatens to expose an old scandal that could ruin the St. James name.

My rating: 3 stars

796. A Season For Scandal (Stephanie Laurens)

Synopsis from author:
Tangled Reins -- Miss Dorothea Darent had no intention of ever getting married, until a dashing stranger with hazel eyes kissed her under a tree. Haunted by their kiss, the Marquis of Hazelmere, a notorious rake, was determined to win Dorothea's heart, even while she was busy dazzling other bucks of the ton. Dorothea had a choice: stick with her plans to remain an independent spinster, or surrender to love.

Fair Juno -- When the Earl of Merton suddenly found himself playing knight to a damsel in distress, he knew that his days of rakish bachelordom were numbered. But although the lady seemed grateful for his assistance, she fled the scene without revealing her name. Now it was up to him to search for the threads that would lead him back to her, he had to find her and woo her -- though past scandals and present dangers threatened his pursuit of the mysterious lady he knew was to be his destiny.

My rating: 2 stars

795. Sinful (Susan Johnson)

Synopsis from Amazon:
Chelsea Fergusson, daughter of the impoverished Earl of Dumfries in this 18th-century romance, foils an unwanted marriage to the wealthy but loathsome Bishop Hatfield in an unlikely manner: she makes herself unacceptable by losing her virginity to London's leading rake, Sinjin St. John, Duke of Seth. When Chelsea becomes pregnant, her indignant father and brothers abduct Sinjin and forcibly wed the two, then separate them and imprison him. This sets off a series of escapades that climax in Sinjin's rescue by a band of desert bedouins led by an American Indian. Can the new duke and duchess now find bliss in licentious London? It hardly matters. Sinjin leaves to buy Arabian horses in Tunis, where he is captured by an evil Bey. Chelsea determines to storm the Barbary coast and ransom him ... but all ends well in this rollicking tale, which proves to be as robust, sensual and adventurous as its protagonists.

My rating: 3 stars

My review: One of the most egregious examples of preposterous names in romance novels. Sinjin St. John??? First, St. John is pronounced Sinjin so this is like naming a kid Jack Jacques (or something similarly ridiculous). Secondly, how high were the parents that they gave their son the same Christian name as his surname??? Other than that, the book is much better than some of Johnson's other historical novels. St. John isn't a complete misogynist and Chelsea is likeable enough.

794. Too Wicked to Tame (Sophie Jordan)

Synopsis from Amazon UK:
The reluctant bride Lady Portia Derring has an impeccable pedigree and not a penny to her name. Sister to a duke, this impoverished bluestocking reluctantly travels to Yorkshire to meet the wealthy earl her family insists she wed. Meeting him, however, is as far as she will go. Refusing to be a sacrificial lamb on the altar of matrimony to satisfy her brother's debts, this determined lady will do everything in her power not to gain a proposal. After all, she has plans of her own and they don't involve matrimony. The unwilling groom Known as Mad Moreton to everyone in Yorkshire, Heath lives a life as untamed and wild as the moors. After all, he has a family reputation to live down. The bad blood that runs in his veins is more than enough reason to swear off matrimony. Not even the outspoken, infuriating Lady Portia will succeed in trapping him. Bright eyes and tempting smile aside, he will resist the chit even if it kills him.

My rating: 3 stars

793. Good Groom Hunting (Shana Galen)

Synopsis from Amazon UK:
With half of an old treasure map that had belonged to her pirate grandfather in her possession, Josephine Hale is determined to gain control of the second half, which currently belongs to Stephen Doubleday, her family's greatest enemy.

My rating: 2 stars

My review: Very rarely do I not finish a romance novel. Sadly, this book is one of those cases. The writing is so poor that I couldn't continue reading it after the fifth chapter.

792. Strange Attractions (Emma Holly)

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
The author of Personal Assets uses the world of quantum physics as backdrop for the quirky tale of Charity Wills, a high school dropout who jumps at an unusual offer to attend college for free. In this case, the price is living at the estate of a reclusive quantum physicist who has more than a clinical interest in the way denial whets longing, especially in people with well-developed erotic imaginations. Charity is determined to meet the sexual challenges from her sexy minder, but in this strange atmosphere of hidden cameras, oiled chauffeurs, and heated threesomes, she will discover unexpected challenges to her life and to her heart.

My rating: 3 stars

791. The Spy (Celeste Bradley)

Synopsis from Amazon Canada:
James Cunnington has a pressing mission at had: He must find the daughter of a missing code breaker for the Liar's Club, a man suspected of turning traitor for Napoleon. Time is of the utmost concern. While it is evident that his ward's new tutor has something to hide, James in unaware that the woman he seeks now resides under his very roof .... Desperate and near destitute, Philippa Atwater must don gentleman's clothing to pass herself off as a scholarly young tutor. Her clever -- if itchy -- disguise allows her time to pursue her quest to find her father, ruthlessly abducted by French spies. Closely guarding the cryptic notebook he entrusted to her care, she sense danger all around her -- even in the home of her roguishly handsome new employer, James Cunnington. Now Philippa is about to discover that the desire can be as lethal as a well-aimed bullet ....

My rating: 3 stars

790. August Folly (Angela Thirkell)

Synopsis from Amazon:
A favorite summer pastime is the amateur theatrical. Here it serves as the stage for the farce that society can become when played in deadly earnest.

My rating: 4 stars

789. The Dead of Jericho (Colin Dexter)

I enjoyed the show better than the books.

Synopsis from Amazon:
He meets her at a suburban party. They share a flirtation over their red wine ... and he doesn't see her again. It's the old familiar story for Morse. Then one day he just happens to be in Jericho, where Anne Scott lives. Nobody's home -- and Morse should know since her door is unlocked and he takes a quick look inside. Only later does Morse learn that the lady was at home, just not alive. The jury's verdict at the inquest is death by suicide. But that doesn't sit right with Morse, and he embarks on his own investigation into the tangled private life of a lovely woman, all the while feeling his own remorse of what might have been ....

My rating: 3 stars

788. Hallowe'en Party (Agatha Christie)

Synopsis from Amazon:
At a Hallowe'en party, Hercule Poirot aids mystery writer Ariadne Oliver in an investigation into the murder of a young girl -- who may have witnessed a murder herself. But unmasking the killer proves more daunting than bobbing for apples.

My rating: 4 stars

Publication information:

• 1969
• Collins Crime Club
• London
  
• Orange/red cloth with gilt lettering
  
• Dust wrapper priced at 25/-

787. The Cardinal of the Kremlin (Tom Clancy)

Synopsis from Amazon:
In his fourth book, Clancy uses nuclear strategies to probe the ambiguities of fighting the good fightthe Americans vs. the Soviets. By the time familiar hero Jack Ryan steps in to investigate mysterious structures on the Soviet-Afghan border, the Soviets have struck again by zapping a satellite with a free electron laser. The title's cardinal, an elite, well-placed source in the Kremlin, leaks details of this secret activity to the United States. In the backdrop of technological bravura, spiced by artful espionage and all-too-human mistakes, intelligence is transferred back and forth and there are attacks and counterattacks.

My rating: 4 stars

786. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (John Le Carre)

Synopsis from Amazon UK:
Smiley and his people are facing a remarkable challenge: a mole -- a Soviet double agent -- who has burrowed his way in and up to the highest level of British Intelligence. His treachery has already blown some of their vital operations and their best networks. The mole is one of their own kind. But which one?

My rating: 5 stars

My review: Classic. Everything about Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is great: the writing, the plot, the characters. One of the best (maybe the best?) spy novels ever written -- all the more incredible given the fact that there is actually very little action in the book.

785. Beware of Doug (Elaine Fox)

Synopsis from Amazon UK:
With every one of her romantic relationships falling apart thanks to the machinations of her scheming, noisy, and nasty dog, Doug, Lily Tyler is stunned when her sexy new neighbor, pilot Brady Cole, decides to come up with a scheme to woo the canine, as well as Doug's pretty owner.

My rating: 4 stars

Excerpt: [from Chapter 1]

“Someone’s moving in.”

Nathan made the statement as if he and Lily were parked in a dark alley, wearing night-vision goggles and staking out someone’s house, instead of standing by the fence in their respective front yards on a sunny spring afternoon. They were watching several large moving men unload a leather couch from a truck into the right side of Lily’s Victorian “twin house,” the nineteenth century’s version of a duplex.

From inside her half, Lily’s French bulldog, Doug, could be heard barking as if the four horsemen of the apocalypse were galloping up the driveway. Through the closed window he sounded like a cartoon character underwater. Bwoop-bwoop. Bwoop-bwoop.

“My father’s really happy with this tenant,” Lily said, watching two of the movers bend an enormous mattress through the front door. It looked even bigger than a king size. Who in the world needed such a big bed? “That’s why he wanted me to be here when the guy moved in, in case he had any questions. The guy’s being bankrolled by a billionaire, as my father put it, so he won’t be a deadbeat like Hugh was.”

“It’s a guy?” Nathan asked sharply.

Lily nodded. “Don’t worry,” she added. “I’m sure my father read this one the riot act about loud parties and beer cans in the backyard. You and your mother can rest easy. Besides, this guy works. He’s not in college like Hugh was.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s a pilot. He’ll be flying Sutter Foley’s private jet. Apparently it’s a full-time job.” Despite herself, she was impressed with this. A pilot. It seemed so…adventurous.

Nathan nodded. “Nice, working for a billionaire. So I guess your friend Megan knows him. I mean since she lives with Foley and all. Did she say what he was like? Is he, like, old or anything?”

“I’m not sure she does know him.” Lily leaned slightly sideways as the movers manipulated the long leather couch first one way, then the other, in an attempt to get it through the door. “She isn’t very involved in Sutter’s business stuff.” She gazed down the street again, expecting that any minute a car would pull into the driveway. “Where is he, anyway? I don’t have all day. You’d think the new guy would be here, directing the movers, so they know where to put stuff. Doesn’t seem very responsible.”

“Maybe he’s on a flight,” Nathan said. “Maybe he’s gone a lot. Could be he’ll never be around.”

Lily glanced at him. “That would be great.”

Even as she said the words, a motorcycle roared up the street, rattling the windows on nearby houses, then slowed to a crawl and pulled into the driveway. It didn’t stop there, however. With a twitch of the driver’s wrist the cycle gave a gratuitous growl and pulled right up alongside the moving truck, partially on the lawn, over the front walk to a patch of grass next to the flower bed lining the right side of the porch.

It was out of the way of the movers, she gave him that. But it stood in the front of the house like the prized possession of a redneck in a trailer park.

The motorcycle’s rider wore a brown bomber jacket, faded and frayed jeans, a sweatshirt that seemed to fit snugly across a wide chest and drape loosely over a trim middle. He pulled off his helmet to reveal straight brown hair with a side part and dark sunglasses over a lean face.

He straightened his legs, swung one easily over the saddle, and settled the helmet on the seat of the black-and-chrome beast.

“A bomber jacket on a pilot,” Nathan said sourly. “What a cliché.”

Lily laughed, but could not take her eyes from the pilot. “At least the sunglasses aren’t mirrored.”

He looked like trouble, she thought. Had her father actually met this guy in person? There was no way he’d be less difficult than Hugh had been, she could tell just by looking at him. Hugh at least had been nineteen and intimidatable. This guy was an adult who worked for a billionaire, and it was obvious simply from the way he moved that he had confidence enough for several normal men. Besides, he was a pilot. Didn’t everyone know about pilots? They were all cocksure and obnoxious. She knew. She’d seen Top Gun.

In addition to everything else, he was good-looking. That was immediately obvious. In her experience, that meant a parade of bimbos through the house, not to mention parties and drunken revelry on a regular basis. Then there was that motorcycle. He might as well have been landing the jet in the backyard for all the noise that the bike made.

“Oh Daddy.” She sighed, shaking her head. Why didn’t he let her rent the place out? She’d offered, more than once. He always told her not to worry about it, that he’d take care of it, that she should just concentrate on grading papers or whatever the hell it was she did at that college.

The new tenant chatted with one of the movers a minute, gestured toward the house with broad, casual sweeps, laughed, then turned and headed for Lily and Nathan.

“One of you Lillian Tyler?” he asked, nearing them with a loose-legged stride. He removed his sunglasses in a smooth, practiced move.

His smile was pleasant, she had to admit. And he had hazel eyes that crinkled appealingly. A man who went into every situation knowing he’d be liked.

“That would be me.” She raised her hand. “Most people call me Lily.”

He reached out to shake. “Brady Cole. Nice to meet you.”

She took his hand, and their palms met, his was warm and dry, hers cool in his grip. The guy exuded confidence even through his skin, she thought.

“And this is Nathan Williams.” She gestured toward Nathan. “He lives next door with his mother, Edie.”

She watched as Brady Cole shifted his gaze to Nathan, smiled easily, and moved his hand from hers to Nathan’s. “Good to meet you, Nathan.”

Nathan nodded once and shook the offered hand. Lily noted the flush in his cheeks and knew he hated meeting new people. It wasn’t that he was shy, exactly. He just wasn’t good with change.

“Glad I got to meet you so soon. Your dad said you’d be keeping an eye on me, so I just want to say I’ll be on my best behavior.” Brady Cole grinned at her, his eyes direct.

So her father had read him the riot act, she thought. That was good. But this guy was going to have to do more than talk about good behavior. He reminded her of one of her good-looking students who thought he could charm her into a better grade than the work merited.

“Then we’ll get along just fine.” She let a pert smile tilt her lips.

His grin grew devilish. “He also said I should keep an eye on you. Apparently he doesn’t think you’re safe down here all by yourself. I get the impression he’s a little protective.”

“Is that so?” She wondered once again why her father felt the need to impress on everyone how incompetent she was to be on her own. “All he said about you was that you probably wouldn’t be a deadbeat.” She let her eyes graze him and smiled. “But the jury’s still out on that.”

Brady laughed. The sound traveled up her core to tingle at the base of her skull. She’d insulted him, and he laughed. She didn’t trust people who did that. It wasn’t sincere.

“She’s tough,” Brady said to Nathan, who startled and froze like a deer in the road. “I might have known, having met her father. Is she always like this?”

“No,” Nathan said firmly, glaring at him.

“That’s good.” Brady ignored Nathan’s curtness as if he hadn’t noticed and turned candid eyes back to her. “I don’t think I could keep up if it went on all the time. What is that noise?”

Lily glanced toward the house, saw Doug’s white-and-black body bobbing up and down on the back of the couch like a piston, his enormous ears pointed straight up like a couple of satellite dishes.

“That’s my dog,” she said, and bit her bottom lip. She’d tried everything to shut him up when he got like this, but if there were men in the vicinity, he went nuts. Doug hated men.

“Your dad didn’t mention a dog.” Brady frowned, his tone cautious.

Lily’s eyes narrowed. He could just turn those movers around if Doug was going to be a problem. Brady Cole would be gone long before Doug would be. “Maybe because the dog has nothing to do with you.”

Brady shifted his gaze to her, his smile milder now. “Does he bark like that all the time?”

Lily took a deep breath, and said decidedly, “No.”

No matter that Doug barked whenever he spotted a man, which would, in Brady’s case, be all the time. The fact was she intended to fix the problem. Maybe she’d finally have to try that citronella collar the animal behaviorist had been advocating for so long, she thought, even though she hated inflicting any kind of discomfort on Doug.

“So, Brady,” she continued brightly, “I wanted to be here to welcome you to the neighborhood and let you know that if there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to call or knock on my door. I’m a lot easier to get hold of than my father, and I can help if something goes wrong.”

He smiled at her with warm eyes. “Great. How…neighborly.”

“I also know all the good restaurants, places to shop, library, city hall, whatever you need. And I’m happy to help.” She nodded once, with a smile, punctuating the conclusion of her duty for the day. Now she could get back to grading papers with a clear conscience. She’d done what her father had asked.

He tilted his head. “You know, I lived eight years in a condo in DC and never even met the people who lived next door to me there.”

“Things work a little differently down here—” she began, but was interrupted by one of the movers.

“Hey, Mr. Cole!” The mover took a few steps in their direction, holding what looked like a wrought-iron sculpture in one meaty fist. “Where you want this?”

Brady turned to the mover, then back to them. “Hang on a sec. I’ll be right back.” With a flash of a smile, he sauntered across the front lawn.

“I don’t think he’s going to like Doug,” Nathan offered.

“He hasn’t even met him yet,” Lily protested, watching the pilot move across the grass. He took the front steps in two long strides behind movers who muscled a black-lacquered chest of drawers inside.

“You think that’ll help?” Nathan asked.

Lily turned a glare on him, then, chagrined, looked back at the house and scowled. “No. Of course not.”

It would only make things worse. Doug had a way of making his feelings known to whomever he took a dislike. And it usually wasn’t pretty.

A second later Brady reemerged from the front door, leapt down the stoop in a single bound, and headed back toward them.

At the same time, a blue BMW convertible crept up Prince Edward Street and paused in front of the house.

Brady’s stride slowed as he reached Lily and Nathan, and he glanced over his shoulder to see what they were looking at.

“Oh no.” The words were muttered under his breath, but the dread in them resonated clearly.

Lily looked at him. His eyes were trained on the car, his mouth turned downward. He shoved his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders as if his mother were about to scold him for stealing the cookies.

“Someone you know?” Lily asked.

The question was answered a moment later, not by Brady Cole but by a long-legged blonde who rose out of the driver’s seat like a monolith. She stood dramatically by the car, giving Brady a hard look, then slammed the door and marched resolutely across the lawn toward them.

“You two-faced, arrogant, lying son of a bitch,” were the first words out of her mouth.

Lily caught her breath. She’d never seen vitriol so thoroughly embodied at such close range. The woman was a seething missile of rage.

“Tricia!” Brady’s tone was so futilely welcoming that Lily nearly laughed. “How did you find me?”

“You moved? You just packed up and left without a word? Were you ever going to tell me? Or did you hope you could just disappear and never have to speak to me again?” She planted herself in front of him, hands on her impossibly tiny jeans-clad hips, and gave him a look that expressed loathing on a biblical scale.

On her feet were high spiked heels. Lily wondered if they were sinking into the soft spring lawn. She could never walk on grass in heels, let alone march with the propulsive force Tricia achieved.

“Now, Tricia, I told you I was taking a new job,” Brady hedged.

Both Lily and the blonde issued a disbelieving scoff.

Brady glanced at Lily. She shrugged and mouthed sorry, with an unapologetic smile.

“Oh, please,” Tricia sneered, throwing a hand out toward the moving truck. “A new job is one thing. But what about this? You never mentioned moving. You never mentioned a whole new town. What did you think, Brady, that I’d just forget all about you? About what we had? Huh?”

“What we had, Tricia, was—”

“Don’t give me any more of your bullshit, you sadistic, misogynistic sack of shit,” she growled.

Lily raised her brows. This woman could curse like it was a foreign language. It was impressive, if a little weird.

“I didn’t want to fall in love with you, you know. But did I listen to my instincts? No! And do you know why? Because you turned on the charm. You couldn’t even help it. You’re such a goddamn talker, Brady. I fell in love with you—you made me fall in love with you—then you used me, goddamn it. Used me for sex, and now you’ve just up and moved? Is this how you break up with a woman?”

“Tricia, please,” Brady said, his voice smooth as honey. “We did not break up. We couldn’t break up because we—”

“Just stop! Do you think I’m some kind of idiot? Some kind of weak, gullible, desperate idiot? I’ll tell you who’s the idiot, Brady. You are, you cheap, dollar-store playboy.” Tricia was so incensed that her long straight hair fell into her eyes. She swept it back with a manicured hand. It rippled like a yard of silk.

Lily could swear there was a sheen of sweat on her upper lip. This was no act the woman was putting on, she meant every word.

“You talk a good game, but you are not the guy you pretend to be,” Tricia continued. “Is this the new one?” Glacial blue eyes shifted disdainfully to Lily. “You left me and came to this godforsaken outback for her? Well let me tell you, honey”—she jabbed a finger in the air toward Lily—“don’t you trust this man as far as you can throw him. Don’t get into his bed. All he wants is sex. Sex, sex, and more sex.”

“Hey, I’m not getting in his bed.” Lily raised her hands up and away from the offending party.

“Tricia,” Brady said, his voice calm and patient, like he was talking to a six-year-old, “you know as well as I do that you and I did not have a—”

Tricia’s hand flashed like mercury. The crack of her palm on Brady’s cheek seemed to bounce off the houses around them. Lily and Nathan both jumped.

Brady moved not a muscle.

“Tricia,” he said finally, in a voice that held a surprising note of kindness, “would you like me to call Silverman? Your parents gave me the number, you know. I’ll call him right now if you want.”

“Don’t patronize me, you bastard,” Tricia said, tears clogging her voice. “I just came here to tell you I’m through with you. I can do better. You’ve seen the last of this body,” she said, with a sweep of her hand down her perfect torso. “And I defy you to find a better one. You didn’t deserve me to begin with, and now you’ll have to do without.”

With that she spun on one slim heel—Lily was gratified to see that she did have to yank it out of the soil—and headed back to the car. The three of them watched as she revved the engine to life, slammed it in gear, and peeled off up the street, leaving a dark patch of rubber residue on the pavement in front of the house.

For a long moment the three of them stood silent in the echoing aftermath of Tricia’s rage. Brady looked off down the street, his mouth a grim line. On his cheek was a vivid red mark in the shape of an outraged blonde’s palm.

After a minute, Lily could stand it no longer.

“So,” she said slowly, “she seems nice.”

784. The Devil's Waltz (Anne Stuart)

Synopsis from Barnes & Noble:
Christian Montcalm was a practical man, if a destitute scoundrel, but his plan to bed and wed the delectable Miss Hetty Chipple would take care of that sticky wicket. However, there was a most intriguing obstacle to his success.

Annelise Kempton desired nothing more than to come between this despicable rogue and the fortune (and virtue) of her young charge. Certainly, Annelise understood the desperation that comes from hard times, but Montcalm would fail -- she would personally see to it. All that stood in her way was a man whose rakish charm could tempt a saint to sin, or consign a confirmed spinster to sleepless nights of longing . . . to give the devil his due.

My rating: 4 stars

Excerpt:

"Who the hell was that?" Crosby demanded. "You told me you were meeting the heiress."

Christian Montcalm turned to look down at his slightly inebriated friend. Crosby had never been the most reliable of his cronies, but then, Christian didn't tend to consort with reliable people. "The dragon got in the way. Don't worry—there'll be other chances."

"You're the one who should be worried. If you don't come up with some money soon you'll be in the river tick."

"Nonsense." He shoved the loose strand of hair away from his face. "There'll be cards tonight, and I can make more than enough to tide me over until the engagement can be announced."

"But you can't always count on the cards, old man. They don't always fall your way."

Christian smiled. He wasn't about to point out to Crosby that not only was he absurdly lucky when it came to cards, he was also skilled and unscrupulous enough to do something about it if the cards misbe haved. "I don't expect to have any problem." He turned his gaze back to the tall figure of the woman marching away from them. She was almost out of sight, which was a pity. She was really quite diverting—more interesting than the tiresome beauty was. His conversation with Miss Chippie, when he wasn't stopping her mouth with temptingly chaste kisses, consisted of an unending line of compliments. For such a beauty she demanded constant reminders that she was, indeed, unmatchable. It was very tedious.

The dragon was far more interesting. True, she was no young maiden, but he'd had mistresses far older than she and enjoyed them tremendously. She couldn't be much more than thirty, making her younger than he was, a thought that amused him. She spoke to him like a maiden aunt, scolding a naughty boy.

Ah, but he was a naughty boy. And he had every intention of becoming a great deal naughtier. And the dragon was just the sort of woman he could make mischief with.

He wouldn't, of course. He was a pragmatic man, and he'd set his sights quite clearly on Miss Hetty Chippie, the underbred, over-rich, delectable morsel who'd just been snatched from him. Marriage to a compliant young heiress was just the thing to smooth his way for the time being, and even if Hetty seemed to have a mind of her own he had little doubt that he could control her. He had enough tricks up his sleeve to keep her docile and well behaved—sex always had the most interesting effect on virgins, and there were any number of ways he could manage to throw her off balance. And it would be most pleasant, given that trim little body of hers.

Then, when she grew tiresome, as they always did, he could further his acquaintance with the dragon, which he suspected would be far more interesting and a much greater challenge.

How would she look without her spectacles? How would she look without her clothes? She would have long legs to wrap around him, and he was connoisseur enough to see that despite her general skinniness she had a decent bosom. Yes, she'd strip quite nicely.

As soon as he could talk her into it.

But first things first. "We'll go play cards, Crosby," he said pleasantly. "And then perhaps I'll decide to attend Lady Bellwhite's soiree so I can further my suit."

"With the heiress? Or the dragon?"

Christian glanced down at him. Crosby was never the brightest of men, but every now and then he was surprisingly astute. Or perhaps Christian had been too transparent. No, that was impossible. He'd spent years perfecting his charming, impassive facade.

"How well do you know me, Crosby?"

"Well enough."

"Then you know I am, in all things, a practical man. Miss Chippie will become the future Viscountess Mont-calm, and if the dragon gets tumbled somewhere along the way, then so much the better."

"You're an inspiration," Crosby said fervently.

"Indeed," Montcalm murmured as the dragon disappeared from sight. "I know."